


cat scratches

by fromthefire



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019)
Genre: Mental Breakdown, Other, Platonic Relationships, Self-Harm, before tohru finds out about the curse, for now, sorry for any misspellings, well the Rest of it - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:20:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23510737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthefire/pseuds/fromthefire
Summary: She studied the back of the boy, watching the way his muscles tightened as he attempted to stifle his cries.
Kudos: 27





	cat scratches

Tohru absent mindlessly walked into the Sohma home, thin fingers searching through the groceries she held. A quiet song escaped her lips before the basket flew from her arms. Her eyes met Kyo's before the food landed across the floor. 

"Hey-" She was pulled from her thoughts by Kyo's grunt. Before apologies could spill from her mouth Kyo waved her away and finished his sentence. He grabbed Tohru's wrist to keep her from falling, the contents of the basket spilling across the floor. 

"Hey, I told you to stop acting like an airhead," His words died out as if there was more to the sentence. He began to bend down to collect the fallen goods as Tohru did the same. Kyo kept his gaze trained on the floor, even when her hand grazed his accidentally. He inhaled a sharp breath as his cheeks flushed red. Tohru's brown eyes struggled to met his red, swollen ones. Had he been crying? 

"Having trouble finishing your sentences today, Kyo?" Kyo whipped his head around to where Yuki sat at the table, his smug smile ever present to him. An insult seemed ready to fire before it dissolved. He gave a simple shake of his head. 

"Shut it. Damn rat." Dropping the groceries back onto the floor, Kyo clenched his fists and shut his eyes with force. Tohru watched with pity as he retreated up the stairs. Months with the Sohma's and her heart still broke when Kyo distanced himself or let people get the best of him.  
She let out a sigh and met the eyes of Yuki who had already picked up the basket and held it out to her.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I was zoning out again, I shouldn't have-" Yuki shook his head offering a warm smile.

"It isn't you," He assured her, following her eyes up the stairs where Kyo had run up. "He's just on edge lately. No one really knows why." Their hands brushed together as Tohru grabbed the basket. Yuki couldn't help the light tint on his cheek.

"Really? I haven't even seen him since breakfast yesterday when he told me was going to study. I hope I didn't ruin what he was going to go out for," She furrowed her eyebrows before bringing her eyes down to the groceries. "Oh! I forgot! There was a sale on cookies today, so I bought one for everyone!" Rummaging through the basket, Shigure wandered into the room.

"Oh, Tohru. How was your trip out?" He joined the two.  
"It was really nice," She let out a noise of triumph. "I got this for you, and you!" She handed out the small package to each of them.

"Thank you very much," Yuki spoke, eyes trained onto the cookie with intentionally misdirected admiration. Shigure stared at his before glancing at Yuki. A small and sly smile washed over his features, quickly giving Tohru a huge grin.

"Well! Isn't this just great!"

"Mhm! I figured it would be a good snack to help you write since Mitchan did leave a few voice messages earlier," Tohru noted causing Shigure's smile to turn sheepish. 

"Ah. I totally forgot it's Sunday! Excuse me, I have a few calls to make," He lied terribly, hoping they’d catch on. They both watched as Shigure slipped back into his room. Tohru stifled a giggle as she started to put away the food. Yuki found himself following her.

"I wanted to make sure that you knew... Kyo isn't acting this way because of anything you did. It's just that the immature way his mind works is, well, inevitable." Tohru hummed in thought. Yuki watched as she placed the empty basket onto the table.

"I hope that's the case. I think I'll go check on him or maybe I should give him space? But how much space? I wouldn't want to interrupt his studying... But his cookie!-" Yuki found himself giving Tohru another warm smile.

"I think he'd want to see you, too." Yuki noted dolefully but forced a smile when Tohru looked to him. She became quiet before nodding at Yuki with determination. Tohru gave the doorframe a soft knock.

"Get the hell out," Kyo's voice came quick and rushed. She winced a bit but persisted. 

"Kyo?" Her voice was soft and delicate through the door. "I, I have something for you. May I come in?" She prepared for a crude comeback but was met with the sound of hushed cries. Immediately, she placed her hand to open the door but froze when Kyo spoke again. 

"Please don't," Tohru's heart began to race. She couldn't help herself as her hand slowly opened the door.  
Hunched over in the corner, Kyo sat. Tohru's eyes roamed the messy room, noticing his shirt thrown in front of the door.  
"Damn it..." He whispered to himself, heading sinking lower knowing he could no longer hide.

"Kyo," She began to walk closer, placing a hand on the edge of his bed with caution. "Please talk to me? What's the matter?" She studied the back of the boy, watching the way his muscles tightened as he attempted to stifle his cries.

"Fine. But... but you can't say anything,"

"Of course, I won't-"

"No matter how pathetic this is." Tohru nodded slowly, heart pacing inside her chest. Kyo sniffled. 

"...Okay..." She placed her hand on Kyo's upper arm to pull him to her, unsure if he'd actually listen. She slid her hand down his arm, freezing when she felt something wet on her hand. Even in the dim light, it was unmistakable.

"Kyo! You're bleeding!" Tohru shot up in a panic before sitting back down in realization. The cookie fell to the floor. She pulled her sleeve up using the excess fabric to wrap around his wrist.

"I know." He replied weakly, still unable to meet her eyes. "I really don't like you seeing me," He choked back tears. "like this. You should just leave."

"I don't like you being like this, but you aren't pathetic," Tohru tried to keep her voice steady. "Did… did you do this to yourself?" Kyo couldn't find it in himself to answer her. He finally looked up at her, both of their eyes teary but understanding. 

"You did, didn't you. It's okay, it's going to be okay. You don't have to answer, okay? Just nod or shake your head, okay?" He nodded, his vision blurring even more. Every part of him was shaking, a position Tohru had never seen him in. Tohru unraveled her sleeve to get a better look now that most of the blood-soaked into the cloth.

Small lines we scattered over Kyo's wrist, top and bottom. Many were scabbed now, some recently reopened. None were too deep to scar. That must have been how she missed it. Tohru noticed the ones reopened could begin to scar from how often he seemed to reopen it, prompting him to reside in longer sleeves. She inhaled through her nose, tears cascading down her cheeks once again.

Only now did she notice a petite bead bracelet that rested right above every mark on his wrist. She had never noticed the small red and white beads but now have, they seemed to compliment his appearance. Her fingers skimmed a red bead causing Kyo to jerk his arm back, almost as if the bracelet was more tender than the actual wounds themselves.

Tohru let out a hushed gasp before standing up again. She held out her hand for Kyo to take and he did. She led him to the bathroom to dab a warm rag on his wrist and applied a large bandaid to cover the open wounds. The silence was sharp neither wanting to break it, but not wanting it there in the first place. Her eyes rested on Kyo's expression. His eyes were glazed over and he didn't wince when the rag made contact with his skin. He didn't seem to be there, Tohru thought. 

“You aren't pathetic, Kyo,” She rubbed the edge of the bandaid. Kyo shut his eyes, shoulders drooping. "Does anyone else... do they know about this?" "Why would they." His words were dry but his tone was full of emotion. "Why are you doing this, anyway." Tohru looked at the boy with wide eyes, fingers resting on the bandage. She began to say how she cared for him and Kyo tensed up. "You don't care for me. My own mother and father don't even care for me! Not even the rest of the family can tolerate me. They cant even love me." His cheeks grew hot when he realized Tohru was actually listening to his ramble. Another insult was caught in his throat as he shut his eyes, giving up momentarily. "So. What makes you think you can?" He asked, eyes still shut. Tohru paused and steadied her own voice, caught up in everything happening. "I think I can because, because I already am. I love you very much Kyo," Kyo's eyes shot open. She misinterpreted his question, yet she told him the answer he wanted to hear but thought he never would. 

“I,” He paused, collecting his thoughts and taming his heartbeat. “I...,” He struggled, averting his gaze down again when his voice broke. She cupped his cheek with a gentle touch, her thumb rubbing in soft circles. Her other hand moved to take his own into hers. She began to speak before he opened his mouth, Tohru immediately quieting.

“It's like, do you ever feel that you're over something and, and you think you're past it; that it can't hurt you anymore because you know, you accepted it and you know it. But then something happens and it feels so new and raw that it starts hurting you all over again?” His tone changes and it almost sounds like he's pleading. “It's not fair, because I was over it, I really was. I just had to win against Yuki and I could live with everything else, I could live with the rest of the pain. My wounds keep opening up and I guess that's why they don't heal. But were they ever going to?” His nails attempted to break through the bandaid to scratch at himself again. This time Tohru placed his hands into hers. She held on tightly. "And if they did notice, they try not to. I'm the Cat, so I'm supposed to be strong." 

“I do, I do understand, Kyo. I feel like that… all the time. It is very hard to move on and even harder when you realize you can't. But, that's what healing is. Healing is getting over the pain but healing is also allowing yourself to linger in that same pain. Sometimes you need to let yourself hurt,” Her eyes darted back down to his bandage. “But there's also a point where you don't need to hurt anymore. You've hurt enough.” She whispers the last words and it still hits Kyo like a brick.  
“Not many people know that, though. Even I think I should hurt more than I have, sometimes.” Kyo tensed up for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. 

“What the hell are you talking about,” He muttered dryly, tears beginning to dry on his cheeks. Tohru brought a thumb to his cheek to wipe the rest away. An embarrassed blush washed over her face, ashamed.

“Well, you're not the only one to think of doing something like this. You know that, though. I think that everyone thinks about this sometimes but you just have to remind yourself of who loves you and would hate to see you hurting.” 

Again, their hands intertwined. She pressed a kiss to his forehead. Kyo jumped up to wrap his arms around her as she returned the gesture. Kyo changed into his cat form, Tohru holding him close to her heart. They both found solace in each other's heartbeats.

“Promise me next time you feel like this, you'll come to me or someone you can trust?” Tohru spoke.  
Kyo offered a meek nod. On the other side of the wall, Yuki found himself sliding down against the wall, eyes wide with disbelief.


End file.
